Thursday, April 28, 2011

When I Was A Stupid Kid - CANNIBAL!!!!!!!!!!

When I Was A Stupid Kid, I had a tiny little problem....
My CANNIBALISTIC baby sister JOANNY.
She particularly liked biting knees, and your back. Why?!! I DONT KNOW. She's a strange one, that kid. If any baby ever needed a binky, it was her.

Look at that evil little face... (cute... but evil...)
So, you'd be minding your own business, and she would sidle up to you, ever so quietly.
THEN WHAM, she'd latch on to you unexpectedly, sending your heart into overdrive. I swear I'm surprised I didn't die of a heart attack at the age of 7.
Unfortunately, there are laws against kicking a baby's ass. But that's ok, I had my own solution.
And that solution....
is KIDNAPPING............Her toys, that is. I told her, with my most grown-up voice........
I WARNED her. I warned her!! She understood. OH YES SHE DID. She knew what the consequences would be if she bit me JUST ONE MORE TIME. Indeed-y!!! I'm positive that she knew what would happen if she bit me JUST ONE MORE TIME. I could see the comprehension in her eyes. And yet....
WELL I COULDN'T BACK DOWN NOW!!!!!! If I didn't snap her little Barbie doll in half, she'd NEVER listen to me. She'd KNOW that every threat from here on out would be an empty one. It had to be done!!!!!!!
But....
UH OH. DAD. "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" I pleaded.

Dad can be reasoned with!! All I have to tell him is that Joanny was BITING me, and that I HAD to snap her Barbie in half, because if i DIDN'T, she would NEVER listen to me, because all my threats would be empty. He'll totally get it. Besides, SHE started it. I mean, I didn't draw first blood! Joanny will SURELY be punished for this!! And the nightmare will finally end!!

But...
And that's how a baby defeated me, When I Was a A Stupid Kid. WHY didn't my parents buy this kid a binky? I will never know.
THE END

Tell me about your sibling rivalry stories!!! I would LOVE to hear it!
Tiffanny

13 comments:

Ted Blackman said...

Ha Ha Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! This is the funniest story yet! I aint kiddin', I LOVE It!! The TIFF humor is back. Excellent!!

Just one tweak, if I may:
When you typed; " ....I told her, with my most grown-up voice. "IF YOU BITE ME ONE MORE TIME... JUST ONE MORE TIME, THIS BARBIE GETS IT!", the same caption in the cartoon panel makes it redundant. So, only type: " ..I told her, with my most grown-up voice: -and then you will read the rest of it in the cartoon panel. Much better.

This story has a lot of energy and fun. I'm givin' it up: Clap, clap, clap!

tiffannysketchbook said...

TED! I followed your suggestion and made the change!

I was kinda thinking along the lines of Forrest Gump, when he narrates: "He knows everything there is to know about the shrimpin' business" and in the next shot, Bubba echoes, "I know everything there is to know about the shrimpin' business" BUT i think your suggestion is better, so I changed it. Thanks for taking an interest! :)

Ted Blackman said...

That works great in a live action movie, but it's much more difficult to pull off in cartooning. Reason is, you are hearing your own voice saying the same lines twice, not two different actors voices saying it.

Tim Robinson said...

Nice story, ha ha!

Tim Robinson said...

Nice story, ha ha!

Julio Kansas said...

It was amazing drawing, congratulations. :D

Queen*B Studio said...

The Barbie doll being terrorized brought back memories. Everytime I'd get a new Barbie, I'd come home from school to find that it had gone missing. I'd usually find it behind the television....without feet . My brother who is 3 years younger than I had an odd habit of chewing my dolls lol!!!

Charles Santoso said...

cute & funny story as always, Tiffany :D

Aparna-Appie! said...

hehehe :D
couldn't help smiling throughout this!
thought of my own little sister who had a habit of pulling my hair all the time! :P
cute illustrations as well! :)

tiffannysketchbook said...

Thanks Tim!
Queen B - Barbie's have a great firm and chewy texture ... I totally get your brother :)
Julio - Thanks!!
Charles - thanks for visiting!!! I do enjoy your blog so much!
Aparna - Dont cute little sisters always get away with everything?! :)

emersondesigner said...

Seus desenhos são muito lindinhos!
É uma pena que não sei fala inglês.

Sadami said...

Dear Tiffany,
I totally understand your situations as an older sister...
Poor Tiff, but we all have similar stories. I admrie your guts to make these private stories public. Thank you.
Cheers, Sadami

C.Deboda said...

Hah, another classic. I'm going through a similar thing back at my family's place too...albeit mine is with a puppy. -__- He is referred to as my little brother though. Does that still counts as sibling rivalry?