Saturday, December 18, 2010

When I Was A Stupid Kid - The Severed Head Affair

 When I Was A Stupid Kid, I loved playing tricks. Especially scaring people.
So I hatched a plan to scare the pants off of my cousin. I started gathering my materials to frankenstein a monster so terrifying, he would literally crap his pants right then and there. Then I would explode in insane laughter, mocking him for falling for my plan. Relishing in his terror and in my own genius. It would be the greatest achievement of my life.

So with a paper bag stuffed with a t-shirt and tied on one end, I proceeded to draw a festering face.
 And with some yarn, I fashioned some horrid hair.

 With ketchup, I bloodied his brow.
 And with a kitchen knife and some crazy zeal,
 I stabbed the Severed Head Monster.
Before I placed my monster strategically in the bathroom, I used red cellophane to cover the lights and cast an eerie glow. A scheme this diabolical needs elaborate special effects.

With that beautiful red light, my monster turned from a hacked-together paper bag monster into something that looked very realistic, if I may pat myself on the back.

Now, all I had to do was wait and get ready to savor the moment. MY VICTORY! And I shall be held in high in the Parthenon of Child Evil-Geniuses for the most clever, practically fool-proof scheme ever concocted by a deranged mind. Now, just a bit of fairy tale adventures to quickly pass the time....

Oh man, I gotta pee....


And that is how I scared the crap out of myself, When I Was A Stupid Kid.

Oh boy, oh boy, now you tell me a story! What kinda pranks did you pull? Hopefully they didn't backfire like mine did!



martinealison said...

Quelle histoire!!!... jolies dessins.
Joyeuses fêtes, bises

Marcelo Vignali said...

Well, did the severed head work? Did you pee YOUR pants?

Ted Blackman said...

This is just too graphic and horrifying! Ha Ha.

Reminds me of the time I rigged up a complicated pulley system running from my bed to my brothers room, with a weight that would tap on his window whenever I pulled it. After the lights went out in his room and he was in bed I waited a couple minutes before I started 'tapping' on his window. He didn't respond so I started tapping very vigorously, so much so that the string broke and it didn't work anymore. I asked him the next morning if he had heard that scary tapping on his window last night and he said he had gone to sleep almost immediately and missed the whole scheme. It took me about an hour to set that thing up, giggling to myself the whole time, but it turned out to be a complete dud.

tiffannysketchbook said...

Martinealison, Merci!

Marcelo, I nearly did. Definitely got my heart beating fast and adrenalin in my blood. And no, it didn't work on my cousin, who never did enter the bathroom, although it did get my sister!

Ted, thanks for sharing :) FUN!

Anonymous said...

I could barely wait to finish reading your one comment before I was looking forward to reading the rest of your story. Very entertaining and funny. Great artwork too! Seasons Greetings

Jay said...

That is priceless! Love the story and the illustrations. I can't wait for the book. :-)

Sadami said...

Dear Tiffanny,
I love your story and cartoons SO MUCH. I'm soooo happy to find there is another kid much like me!! ʚ(ˆ◡ˆ)ɞ I firmly believe Bart Simpson is a genius reagrding creativity, yey!!!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Best wishes, Sadami

Sami said...

That was totally WICKED!!!!! Awesome blog... such an inspiration :)

Keep rocking!

Grey Valentine said...

This should be a Childrens book, I'm not just saying that. This is a really cute idea.

Michelle said...

Haha, very cute little story.

I was more of a chicken-shit kid. Any pranks I ever played were less effective, like the time I put mashed up bananas in my cousin's shoes ... but I didn't want to be too mean, so the banana was in a sealed ziploc bag ... not a great prank in retrospect.

These are cute little series' can't wait to read more :)