because I settled. I was overwhelmed at thinking that I had to rebuild my portfolio from scratch so I only put half a heart into my first piece.
After I wrote the words, "I think this is the limit of my skill level at this point in time." in the last blog post, I soon got angry with myself. How could I expect so little of myself, and how will I expect anyone to want to pay me to draw and paint if all I could give was something half-assed? (I mean, look at the wildflowers I painted last blog. Those are clearly half-assed!!!) I couldn't sleep afterwards. I need to shoot for something higher than my current comfort level. I am not good where I currently am. I need to strive. I hope this re-painted version shows that. I will try harder from now on; I owe my readers and future employers/clients the best I can deliver. I can sleep better if I know I did my best.
It's now 3:00 in the morning and I still have to get my Illustration Friday piece for tomorrow! I will try to post something late tomorrow night. For now I shall crawl into bed and collapse.